The NVC group that meets the second and fourth Thursday of each month discussed chapter 8, "The Power of Empathy" and did exercise one in the workbook, "Mourning The Past". Each member brought up a choice they had made in the past which they now regretted. In asking the question of how they feel now (usually self-judgment) we examined the unfulfilled needs beneath these thoughts. There was some opposition to exploring needs at this point, but as we went on with the practice of discovering needs in the present we came to see that deep universal needs are still there, i.e. survival, acceptance, honesty, integrity, and that accepting them leads to self-empathy. One member of the group commented on the beauty of needs and how understanding them can, as Marshall says “make life more wonderful."
I was observing a mediation yesterday and was so aware that if empathy was provided for both parties, the conflict would melt away. Since I was an observer, however, I was not allowed to speak... so I sat on my hands and bit my tongue as I offered myself empathy for the discomfort of sitting in the knowing silence.
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